FIRST IMPRESSION AND MAKING GREAT FIRSTIMPRESSION

Hello readers, welcome aboard! I am your pilot, your co-pilot, your flight attendant and your entertainer. Fasten your seat belts and get ready for take off.

Let us start by having a simple joke;

Four women were bragging about their ‘religious’ sons

1)      My son is a priest, whenever he walks in a room, everyone calls him ‘father’

2)      My son is a bishop, whenever he walks in a room, everyone calls him ‘your grace’

3)      My son is a cardinal, whenever he walks in a room, everyone calls him ‘your eminence’

4)      My son is incredibly handsome, 6’2, broad shoulder and has an impeccable style. Whenever he walks in a room, all women say ‘oh my God’

Is this a case of first impression at work? Let us see.

FIRST IMPRESSION

For law students, lawyers or any ‘legal agent’ if we may call them, first impression (primae impressionis in Latin) refers to a legal case in which there is no binding authority on the matter presented. You may have come across that if you have watched the series Suits or The Firm. Aint no law oriented so I will not talk about that. Legal matters aside, let me talk about the first impression that everyone, I guess, has a modicum of idea about.

After asking a good number of friends (twitter and facebook) what first impression is, these are some of the definitions I got:

1)      The first opinion you form about somebody you have just met, from the way they talk and how they generally carry out themselves

2)      It is what a person can tell about you the first time they see you without having talked to you

3)      The perception that comes across your mind first when you see someone or something

4)      It is how you present yourself to the people you are meeting for the first time

5)      The main attribute that you attach to someone or something when you first see or hear about it

6)      An individual’s perception of someone or something they come into contact with for the first time

So I guessed right! Almost everyone I asked had a notion of what first impression is. Technically, the definitions above suggest that almost everyone stereotypes everyone and everything at first sight! Usually, it has a time frame, ranging from three seconds, for the geeks, to some few minutes. Even the so called “love at first sight”, is primarily as a result of first impression!

Enough with the definitions! My next question is what institutes/makes up first impression? What leads to the perception of others about someone/something? What is it that leads to the attributes attached to a person/a thing by others?

Back to the top, definition number one gives more on first impression. It is claimed that it just take a quick glance, 3 seconds or so, for someone to evaluate you when you meet for the first time (aint sure if that’s true. It will take me much longer to attach an attribute to someone, hands down). In this short time someone forms an opinion about you based on your appearance, body language, demeanor/behavior/mannerism and how you are dressed!

MAKING GREAT FIRST IMPRESSION

Folks (as Jeff Koinange would say), these first impressions can be nearly impossible to undo or reverse hence making these encounters are extremely important. Why? They set tone for all relationships that follow!

So, whether these encounters are in your career or social life, it’s important to know how to create a great first impression. At this juncture, I will deal with ‘human part’ of the first impression rather than the ‘non-human part’. By ‘non-human part’ I mean the attributes attached to things: cars (btw who doesn’t fancy cars?), phones, C.V’s e.t.c  and animals. Without much ado, leggo

1)    Time management

Imagine being informed about a meeting a day prior to the meeting day. The following day, the meeting day, you show up thirty minutes late! Then as usual, excuses follow. Those residing in Nairobi will tell you, “jam ya Jogoo road leo ilikuwa mbaya” (the traffic jam along Jogoo road was so bad today) even if they come far from Eastlando (slang for Eastlands). Like seriously?? Dude you knew about the meeting twenty four hours prior for heavens sake!

Believe you me the stranger; say prospective employer, aint interested in your damn good excuse of arriving late. If it were a buyer, am sure s/he will not buy your item(s), leave alone your excuse.

 At this point we note that the other party may try and understand your ordeal not that s/he likes to, but to give/create a great impression towards you. Otherwise you will for sure obtain the ‘late comer’ attribute. For that am certain.

What I am saying is, be on time. Arriving early is better than arriving late, hands down!

2)    Appropriate presentation

One Russian writer Ivan Turgenev wrote (Fathers and Sons, 1862),”a picture shows me at a glance what it takes dozens of pages of a book to expound”. And so they say, a picture is worth a thousand words. #nuff_said.

Physical appearance matters! But then it doesn’t mean that you have to look like our own Lupita Ny’ong’o or Ajuma Nasenyana or those other models and super models you may be thinking of  to create a strong and positive first impression (unless you are being interviewed by your local modeling agency ;-)) .The key is creating a good picture of your self, not tainting it! How do we do that?

a)      Start with the dressing.

Saturday, June 16^th, 2012, KTN Jioni (seven pm news bulletin) aired about dress code at work place. One of the male interviewees, let us call him John, said:

‘ Huwezi jua  bibi ni nani, wa kukula ni nani na mpita njia ni nani…..wanatuumiza,mara hio hio!’ (You cannot tell the difference between a wife, a slut or a traveler……they provoke us instantly!)  

It is true that your clothes say a lot about you. A lady wearing those short skirts that compete with wide belts in size comes out as fun loving, single and probably working too hard to catch a cold and probably a man as bonus. On the other hand, descent dress brings out a lady in any woman, and makes her confident and doesn’t need to show any ‘supporting document’ to claim her beauty ~ Ciku Kimani.

Back to our main topic. You need an appropriate dress for an occasion. And again it doesn’t have to be a new suit, dress, whatever…..it just has to be appropriate! That’s all. You may want to avoid that casual look when attending an interview that may change you for the rest of your life! You do not have to don that shiny, double-breast or Chinese collar suit when meeting for coffee for a friendly chat……keep it casual, simple.

It important to note that for business and social meeting, appropriate dress varies between countries and cultures and you therefore need to pay attention to it when in unfamiliar setting. Let us take our neighboring countries Tanzania and Uganda, for example. Most business and government institutions have set a dressing code for the female. No unnecessary boners at work places (no offence). In Kenya, Strathmore has a dressing code for the students (aint saying they do the same for the world class UoN, that was a bye the way)

b)      General rooming

You have arrived on time, you are in appropriate attire, your appropriate attire look like they are direct from the horse’s mouth (;-D)), your hair is shaggy, you shoes look like hell, you forgot to brush your teeth, in short, you are screwed (not in the derogatory way) For heavens sake that will be a fuggy situation you do not wanna be in.

Be clean; have a clean haircut/shave, iron your dress, be hygienic – not a threat to someone’s hygiene, the rest you know!

3)    Individuality

The late professor of mathematics, Hon. George Saitoti once said “there comes a time when a nation is more important than an individual” (RIP prof) I couldn’t agree less. I would like to say that there comes a time when individuality makes or breaks your image; your impression! Everyone has characteristics that make them different from others. You have traits that make you so different from me and any other reader around. So, be you. Do not ‘cook’ ideas, dress like God knows who to create an impression of what is not you. You do not have to fit in, lest you want to send a positive wrong impression of yourself. Yes, a positive wrong impression! What if next time you accidentally meet, you are caught in an awkward situation than the one you presented on your first meeting? Will you say that was accidentally on purpose? Cut the crap, just be you. Give your own picture (just polish it) not what you are not!

4)      Openness

You may want to agree with me that body language and appearance speak much louder than words. That brings me to an advert by Fred R. Bernard (Advertising trade journal printers ink, Dec/08/1921 issue) entitled ‘one look is worth a thousand words’.

Almost everyone gets nervous when meeting for the first time. You don’t want to show that you are ill at ease to a stranger.  Stand tall, greet with firm handshake, and maintain the eye contact. The most important thing at this stage is give the winning smile. They say smile and the world smiles. I must warn that too much of these may make you look insincere and smarmy. You will look like a lightweight, an amateur! So take good care! After all, you know as well as I do that too much of something is dangerous.

In short, confidence matters a lot.

5)      Mannerism

Next is the conversation part and you must be courteous and attentive. Imagine your phone ringing in the middle of a conversation. You don’t wanna pick that call, ah ah!

Be positive. Your attitude will show through in everything you do or say. Be positive even in the case of criticism/nervousness. Talking of positive criticism, I remember watching #tpf5 once and there was this girl who literally shed tears because she was corrected on something (I wasn’t keen) she said funnily without the intention of being funny (accidentally not on purpose ;-D). Some of the viewers’ comments on the social network sites weren’t that pleasing…..she let them down!

Conversations are based on verbal give and take. Is there anything that you have in common? <<<<< This will keep the conversation flowing. Avoid insular and fuddy-duddy ideas and attitude as much as possible lest you want to appear an introvert.

Be at your best manners!

Let me conclude this part by quoting one Jimmy Orengo: manners maketh man!

Am not saying this is a masterpiece guide to improving your first impression; this is just a piece to help you improve your first impression, the main aim being to demystify the fact that majority (yeah most people) think that it’s all about dressing when it comes to first impression. We being human, we err; we make mistakes, we are not perfect. We may fail to ‘honor’ some of the aspects of first impression and still get away with it.

To sign off, I would like to encourage that you give it your best shot. Much of what you need to do is common sense, but with a little extra thought and preparation you can hone/develop your intuitive style and make first impression great, instead of good.

Hope you enjoyed your flight and welcome again, anytime! Adios.